


To Know You Is Hard

by Koruga



Category: The Magnus Archives
Genre: Cis Barnabas, Gen, Jonah Week, neither of these things are mentioned or relevant but i just like making tags sometimes :), trans Jonathan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koruga/pseuds/Koruga
Summary: Jonathan prepares himself for a visit. Barnabas comments on his demeanour.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19
Collections: Associated Articles Regarding One Jonah Magnus, Jonah Magnus Week 2020





	To Know You Is Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Alright! I'd like to thank Cat for being a wonderful beta reader, and Jonah Week for forcing me to do a writing. Pretty short to begin with, but I'm pretty proud of it, and I hope you like it too!

"You look like you're getting ready for a wedding," Barnabas notes cheerily as Jonathan smoothes out his jacket. "I'd hate to think you're doing this all just for me, you know I'm not worth all this trouble."

Jonathan doesn't say anything, simply frowns at his reflection in the mirror. His hair is a mess, and his desperate combs have done nothing for it, so he pulls it back into its standard ponytail, hanging low at his neck. Barnabas moves his hand through the curls, a fond smile on his face. "I know you're upset, but there's no reason to be like this. It's alright, really."

It's because of Barnabas that Jonathan is even going out today, walking outside in his finest clothes. He looks rather dashing, Barnabas thinks, though he must be hot in such a dark jacket in the warm sunlight of June. He opens up the door, and Barnabas trails behind him, checking the door is locked before he follows Jonathan out into the streets.

It's a shame the man's so somber today, Barnabas thinks. Jonathan always looks wonderful when he smiles, and Barnabas lights up like the sun whenever he does, but today he's in one of his moods. There's a melancholy sort of miasma around him, and Barnabas can't blame him, not really. It's not Jonathan's fault that he feels like this, today of all days.

Barnabas keeps his head up, looking around them. It's still early in the morning, and there aren't many people out yet, which makes the walk all the easier. Jonathan stays in front, head hunched down, and Barnabas walks behind him with his hands moving airily about his sides. He talks, to fill the silence, and Jonathan, as usual, doesn't respond.

"I think you could do with some lilies in your house, or some sort of flower to brighten up the place. You've been so melancholy lately, and I think you'd enjoy having a patch of brightness." Barnabas points over at a small flower shop, where a young woman is struggling to bring in a large container of what he can only assume are flowers. "You could make some new friends, and you've been isolating yourself lately. I'd hate for you to end up like me." He chuckles to himself, and brings his eyes down to his hands. His calluses are barely visible like this, lost in the whorls of the rest of him. It's been a while since he had to do much in the way of physical work.

He frowns as Jonathan crosses over into Old Town. It's never been his favourite place in the city, and he rubs his arms as Jonathan moves ever forward to his destination. "There are other places you could go. I didn't ask for the arrangement to be made here, I think it was my sister who made the plans. With your help, of course, but I don't know why you wanted it here instead of... _anywhere_ else." 

Jonathan just sighs, his breath misting slightly in front of him in the early morning air. Barnabas hops over a small puddle as they cross the street, rocking back and forth on his feet. "And I don't mind that you've done this for me, really. I like it, but...here? It's just so...isolated from everywhere else. Away from the rest of my family, and normally I wouldn't be upset about that, but, as it is..." He trails off as Jonathan enters the grounds of Greyfriars Kirk.

It's not Jonathan's fault -- he never asked Barnabas his opinions on the place. Hadn't thought it was relevant, most likely, but Barnabas has always found the area just a bit...spooky. He pulls closer to Jonathan, who heads away from the church into the Kirkyard.

Barnabas hates seeing Jonathan like this. Quiet and miserable, so unlike the man Barnabas used to be so happy to orbit around. He rubs his fingers together as Jonathan enters his family's patch of land, and kneels down with him by a small grave marker.

"It's not your fault, you know," Barnabas murmurs, placing his hands on Jonathan's shoulders. The doctor shivers, despite the sunlight, and Barnabas's lips ghost against the crown of his head.

For the first time since he woke up, Jonathan speaks, his voice cracking slightly as he struggles to keep his composure. "I'm sorry. If I had known, if I had been there--" He cuts himself off, swallowing his tears before they can reach his eyes.

"You were in Iceland -- you were working. Nobody could have thought you would come back, certainly not when I didn't even think to contact you for so long." Barnabas looks up, at the pale blue sky he always used to take for granted, then at the marker once more.

The marker was a plain thing. Granite, engraved simply without fanfare. There's a small epitaph, and the engraving of lavenders in the corner.

_BARNABAS BENNETT_

_1794-1824_

_FRIEND FOREVER FAITHFUL,_

_FELLED BUT NOT FORGOTTEN_

"Jonah couldn't find a solution to the problem I had found myself in. You couldn't have done anything, either." Barnabas embraces Jonathan, and in the graveyard of Greyfriars Kirk, Jonathan cries alone in front of an empty grave.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the title is from Ready for the Funeral by Band of Horses. Had to put it here because it's a bit of a spoiler.


End file.
